A year ago today, everything stopped. Freedom of movement as we knew it ended.
A year ago today, I was googling Covid-19 furiously, trying to understand what was happening, so I could then discuss it in my classes in an accurate way. Students were slowly becoming aware of what Covid-19 was, and I was trying to help them sift through the noise. Because one of our topics that semester was misinformation/disinformation/malinformation, I made sure we had frank and honest discussions about how to obtain accurate info. Discussing Covid-19 would be the second in-real-time event I used as a lesson that semester. Earlier in the Spring semester, after Kobe Bryant's death (rest his soul), I used the information cycle and misinformation as a lesson on how to know which news to trust, how to assess credibility, and confirm stories and information.
A year ago today, our personal life changed with a car accident (thankfully, no one was seriously harmed) as the larger world as we knew it changed as well. The vehicle was totaled, so not only did we go into lockdown mode due to Covid, literally our main mode of transportation (the vehicle I used most often) was gone, so hermit crab, I became.
A year ago today, as I was holding what would be my last f2f class, I discussed the prospects of Spring Break and for the students to be hella safe if they went anywhere. We could all feel the impending creep of a virus we didn't understand yet. None of us knew that that would be the last regular week of a regular semester. (What is regular?) None of use knew that we wouldn't be back after Spring Break. None of us knew hardly anything.
A year ago today, the country was still in its daze of deluded and mythological exceptionalism (still is), still in its fog of "post-racial society" bullshit, still stuck with a tyrannical, fascist wannabe dotard.
A year ago today, we were cluelessly floating through life, hoping this Covid-19 business wasn't as bad as was being predicted.
A year ago today, 529,000+ Americans were still here, 2.62+ million humans worldwide were still here. (Source, as of 3/11/21)
Today, I'm one dose in and looking forward to the second one.
Today, I'm looking forward to no longer being incredibly anxious about having to be around people or just do basic, regular shit of life that one year ago we did so freely and casually.
Today, I am more hopeful at the prospect of visiting family I've only seen through video screens for a year or more.
Today, I am teaching through zoom and seeing slices of the students' lives through the little rectangular boxes. We've made the most of the awkward pandemic-mode semesters.
Today, I'm struggling through the second pandemic wall, so sleep is weird again, dreams are weird again, life is weird, periodt.
Today, I am looking forward to a time when I can greet my friends with hugs instead of socially distanced air hugs or elbow bumps or air high fives.
Today, I'm thankful for this increased time at home with the family although it strains my patience.
Today, I'm thankful at realizing we've all been without a cold, flu, strep, and any other minor illnesses we normally would've gotten.
Today, I'm thankful that the twindemic (flu + covid) did not happen.
Today and every day, I try to take the small victories as they come, so I'm thankful for this "pause year"--although we all know life-shit didn't really pause. We had to find a way to do our regular life shit--with masks, at a distance, at low-volume times, on screens, etc. Only freely sauntering about the world paused.
Today, I'm reflective AF, which is beautiful and painful, but even in the midst of the beauty and the pain, I take those victories as they come.
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