Friday, December 7, 2012

Tiff-ism 1: Be ACTionary, not REactionary

Yes, I know "actionary" isn't actually a word, but it should be.  People spend so much of their lives reacting to the actions of others instead of acting on their own.  We're so worried about how people will react to our actions that we don't do what we want and be who we are.  We must recondition our minds to walk to our own drum and not care who sees or if anyone else can hear the beat.

I recently had a conversation with a young man who is at a crossroads in his life.  He's stuck in the purgatory between graduating from high school and waiting for his life to begin--between being legally grown, but not grown enough to be self-sufficient.  Due to his own lackadaisical attitude, poor guidance, and some misdirected guidance, he hasn't yet entered college.  He's stuck.  He hasn't been given ALL the proper tools to get to where he wants to be, so I was talking with him about figuring out his path in life for himself.  Somehow, the conversation turned to friends, and I remarked that one of my lifelong friends (NM) has ALWAYS been a source of inspiration to me because she ALWAYS marched to her own drum and didn't give a damn otherwise--or if she did, I didn't know it.  I've envied that (in a good way) for much of my life until I finally got it in my head that I can do the same.  So her being who she wanted to be all the time encouraged me to do the same.  (Thanks, NM!)
I can act as I please--as long as it doesn't harm others; I can think as I please--as long as it's logical; I can be who I please--without seeking validation of others.

And on this same idea, I also told this young man about recently hearing Willow Smith's song "I Am Me." I really could've used a song like this back in the day.  Being a little different, always hearing a different beat in my head, but being afraid to march to that beat.  Hearing a song that says "it's ok to be me, whoever "me" is" would've helped a lot.  I might've learned at a much younger age to ACT instead of REact.

So back to being actionary NOT reactionary.  When we react, we are forced to respond to some stimuli that has forced itself upon our lives.  We don't always come up with the best responses when we react, but we always respond--unless you decide to lay down and give up (which isn't an option over here!).
However, if we seek ways to ACT in life, we take our path in our hands, we make our own way, we forge new territories for ourselves.  When we cease to act, we give in to what society has for us.  If we just go through the motions of reacting instead of acting, we take whatever comes and roll with it.  But should that be enough?

I say NO!  In fact, I say HELL NO!  Carve out your space in the world by acting--wisely and with forethought act rather than react with haste or out of necessity.  Necessity is the mother of invention, but the inventions aren't always the best if they were invented in haste.

"To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction" (Newton's third law).

Be the action that others are forced to respond to rather than reacting to the wills of others.